The Pace of Change

This page shares a short summary of Bebe’s essay. The full piece was first published on presencebasedcoaching.com.

A coaching student once asked Bebe what to tell clients about how long change takes. Her answer begins with honesty: it depends on a great deal, from a person’s history, resources and readiness to the trust in the coaching relationship and the coach’s own experience of change.

Many small movements

Real change, the kind that is embodied and sustainable rather than cosmetic, comes from many incremental steps taken over time.

The mind is quick. The heart and body take longer.

We can embrace a new idea in an instant and talk about it with real excitement. Becoming different enough to act differently is another matter. That asks the heart and the body to come along, and they keep their own time.

Why the pacing differs

Bebe offers two reasons. Our history is held in the body, not only in memory. And old, unexamined beliefs about who we are can keep running beneath awareness. In a safe coaching relationship, presence helps bring those drivers to light so that new meaning, and new practice, become possible.

Digesting change

She compares change to digestion: we take in something new, absorb what nourishes us and let go of the rest, and the process can’t be rushed. Her own move to Asheville is the example, long planned in the mind, welcomed by the heart and only slowly settled into by the body.

What to tell clients

There is no tidy number. Change takes the time it takes, and it moves at different paces within each of us. The invitation is to bring patience, practice and compassion to the whole human process.